you're getting better.

When my niece first started walking, my sister sent me a video of her walking around the kitchen. At one point, she falls – and keeps falling – in the same spot. She’d get up, wobble, and fall. Over and over. I don’t know exactly how many times this happened, but it was enough that I watched in awe that she chose to keep trying to walk instead of giving up and crawling – the easier, faster, and more familiar option.

Her perseverance paid off as she eventually found her balance and continued walking, but I kept thinking about that one part and how it felt like actual footage of what my life feels like right now.

It feels like I am in the same spot, trying again and again to find my footing, and I keep falling. Unlike my niece, I find it wildly frustrating and discouraging, and I want to give up in favor of the easier and faster option. But I don’t. Instead, I just feel stuck between what’s familiar and what’s not working.

At some point, I realized that part of the problem is that I feel like I should know how to do this already. As a writer, I think my first draft should come out sounding like a final draft. And when that doesn’t happen, I view it as a reason I’ll never make it to the final draft instead of viewing it as a step in the right direction.

So I’ve been trying to shift my perspective and not see the terrible first draft as discouraging or a waste of time but rather see it as a valuable part of the process. As uncomfortable as it is, this is a process. And what’s unfolding is actually greater than what I can see in front of me.

Because the truth is, it’s less about how well I can do something and more about who I’m becoming in the process. What I am able to do is good and helpful, for sure. But who I am is what changes everything.

Whatever feels hard for you today, whatever you feel like you’re not good at, whatever you feel like you keep falling or failing at, look for how it’s making you better rather than seeing it as a reason you’re still not there yet.

The power of God is in you, even on a Thursday.