it was decided: i was going back to school for the spring semester (well, technically the winter session) as a communications major. and this book my career counselor gave me, with all the useful music business info in it, also talked about the best locations for the job i wanted. here's the part where i was thrown for a loop.
three cities were listed for music-industry jobs: new york, los angeles, and nashville.
new york? well that just fits PERFECTLY with the plan i had earlier. los angeles? also a win. i've never been there, but i did have that phase where i wanted to move there. nashville? not so much. i've never even thought about visiting there, let alone living there.
i'm sure you can guess which one of these citied jumped out at me when i saw the list.
i was shocked. i'm pretty sure my first thought was, "BUT NEW YORK WAS ON THE LIST." and my second thought: "ARE YOU SURE?" yes. there was a lot of yelling going on in my prayers. not so much because i was angry, but because i was confused. and very surprised.
but then i remembered something i had prayed for a few months before. it was after a conversation i had with my parents about new york that did not go in the direction i wanted it to go in. they just weren't convinced that new york was where i was meant to be. my prayer went something like this: "God, if i'm not meant to live in new york, then don't let me want to live in new york."
i didn't think it would work. partly because i didn't think it could work, and partly because i didn't want it to work. honestly, i wanted to want new york. i liked having a dream that big and i was scared of what would happen if it went away. but God didn't take away my big dream, He simply replaced it with another, much better one.
so i stopped wondering why, i stopped wanting new york, i stopped wanting my dreams. and i started wanting His dreams, i started wanting nashville, and i started to be grateful. after all, this is what i had asked for.
you know, having faith is kind of like going on an adventure. because you take risks that scare you like nothing else, and then God blesses you and answers your prayers and gives you things you didn't even know to ask for.