a little over a year ago, i wrote about what happens if i fail. i wrote it from that feeling of being new and scared and i just took the biggest leap of faith and moved a thousand miles away from home and what if i fall flat on my face? i wrote it because it's the truth and i wanted to remember it. that failing would be like the easy route, and not failing would mean i'd have to trust a little more.
but what i didn't really consider was the part where not taking the easy route means taking the hard route. and you know what? it's hard, and it sucks. not all the time. but sometimes? sometimes there are a lot of tears and doubts and struggles. sometimes it hurts and i just want to quit. i want to fail. because sometimes, the easy way just looks so easy.
right now, i'm feeling that. and i don't really have anything profound to say about it because i'm still in the middle of it. it still sucks. i'm still frustrated. but i'm still writing about it because it's okay to not be okay sometimes. you know why? because his grace is sufficient for me, for his power is made perfect in weakness.
and when i feel worn down and broken and weak, i will be made strong.