Ever since that time I changed my mind and decided not to move to Nashville in May like I had planned to, I haven't posted anything too personal. I mean, I used to post a lot about my life and Nashville and having faith. But that was before things started to slip out of place and completely fall apart. And I mean, completely fall apart. I felt broken and alone and confused and it was all too much.
So I didn't write about it on the blog. (Who wants to read that mess?) I had a hard time writing about it as it was. There just weren't words to match the hurt and the pain I felt. I tried, and I ended up with pages of bits and pieces that didn't quite fit together. And I would try explaining it to the people who care about me and wanted to help, but every time I opened my mouth, nothing would come out and the tears wouldn't stop coming.
I still couldn't explain it to you, and I'm not going to try. But I am going to write about me again. I am going to write about Nashville and about faith and about anything else that happens. I am going to write it and post it and let you see what it looks like. And here's why.
Because, even as everything felt like it was spinning out of control, as my plans fell apart and my dreams seemed to shatter, and as hopeless as I felt, there was one thing I was absolutely sure of. I knew, without a doubt, that His love never fails. And that's what I focused on – the one thing that held me steady, like an anchor keeping a ship secure amidst the stormy sea.
Because, He is my hope. He is my strength. He is what makes me whole. And He will never leave me, nor forsake me. His love never fails. As much as I felt like I was being tossed around, I knew I was being held firm. And as much as I hated the storm for threatening to destroy me, I knew that I could not be destroyed.
Because, here's what I want you to know. It's not about the storm; it's about the anchor.
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. ––Hebrews 6:19