put the outcome on the altar.

A few weeks ago, I blocked all the time on my calendar for one week to focus on pulling together a first draft of my book.

I’m writing a memoir, so most of what I had written up to that point was bits and pieces of real-life events that all stacked up to tell the story of …something. I sort of knew what the story was, but I mostly didn’t.

My focus for the week was to figure out what I had already written, what was missing, how it all fits together, and to write the parts that were missing. But by the afternoon of the first day, I was frustrated and in tears. I just wasn’t seeing the story or how exactly I was supposed to tell it — which felt that much worse because it’s not just a story but my actual life.

This story that I am writing (and living) is one I felt like God had invited me into years ago, and one that I felt like He wanted me to write down.

But how? How does it come together?

They say you need to “start with the end in mind.”
They say you need an outline.
They say you need to identify the big moments, the key turning points.

But God was saying things like, “Rest.” “You’re done for today.” And, “Just tell the story from the beginning.”

I didn’t appreciate any of that. God’s way seemed unproductive. Inefficient. Like it would take me so long that I couldn’t get it done within the week — and even then, how would that tell me the ending?

“Who says you have to finish this week?” God said. “Stop thinking about the outcome.”

I had been holding onto what I wanted and what I thought it should end up looking like that it was actually hindering my ability to be obedient and see what God was doing.

But God was asking me to put the outcome on the altar.

I didn’t like it. It felt uncomfortable and risky. Saying yes to God meant not knowing where I would end up or how long it would take.

But isn’t that exactly what He asks of us in general?

Let go of what you’re holding on to.
Put it on the altar.
Lose your life so you can save it.

It took me all night, but I gave in. I decided to lay down my desire for productivity in favor of obedience and see where that got me.

The next day, I opened a blank document and started from the beginning.

I finished the whole book in five days. An insane amount of time.

When I read it back to myself, I saw the story God was telling more clearly, and I was in awe. God tells the most beautiful stories. The draft needs work, for sure, but I was surprised to find that the best way to discover what the story is and how it ends …was to tell it from the beginning.

In full disclosure, I have been working on writing this book for several years, including lots of “just start from the beginning” moments. Because of that, I thought that starting from the beginning again would be like starting over, which felt so discouraging. But what I didn’t realize was how being obedient and listening to what God was telling me to do along the way was positioning me for this moment of expedited progress.

Sometimes, the end we have in mind — or even just the desire to know how it will work out — is exactly what’s blocking us from receiving all that God has for us.

Put the outcome on the altar, stop looking ahead, and simply do what He’s telling you to do right now.

It can be wildly uncomfortable, but God knows exactly what He’s doing. And His way is better. So much better.

The power of God is in you, even on a Thursday.