this is you, at two.
part of me wants to forever throw around those first four photos of us on the day you were born, when i was TECHNICALLY the first person besides your parents and hospital staff to hold you. i want to always talk about the day i stayed awake for a full twenty four hours, which i had never actually done before (and haven't done since), when i drove all night from nashville to charlotte and still had enough energy to literally run down the hallway at four in the morning to make sure i arrived in time. i want to tell all the details i remember about those first few days, about how they felt like magic, how i'd hold you, sleeping, in one arm and trace the features of your face, over and over, with my other hand.
i guess it's because meeting you was the most incredible and unforgettable experience. you are such a gift, and though i will never quite be able to adequately wrap words around it, i won't ever stop trying.
i've been listening to this song a lot lately. it's called "light," by sleeping at last. it released about a month before you were born, and it fits right along with all the things i feel. but i'm just now listening to it, and i think it's even more perfect that way.
the truth is, if i had listened to this song when it was released, i wouldn't have understood what it meant the way i do now. i didn't know yet. i didn't know yet that love looks like feeding you bottles and changing your diapers and singing you to sleep, or holding your hands so you could walk around the house before you could balance on your own and having dance parties with you and finding new ways to make you laugh. i didn't know yet the ways my heart would melt when you started giving kisses and saying "love you" and pointing to me to be the one you wanted to feed you or race you or dig in the dirt pile with you.
i have loved you since day one, more than i could've imagined was even possible, but every day with you has been even more incredible. watching you learn and grow has been such a joy. i will forever be grateful you were born.
happy birthday, luca.
i love you.
love always, auntie.