july was like–

july was like a roller coaster. like a storm surrounding my boat. it felt like a test of my faith. like god was asking, again and again, do you trust me?

how about now?

how about now?

by the end of the month, i was in awe of the way things had played out. the way situations had twisted and turned and flipped around before landing right–side–up again, within weeks, was almost laughable––because it all ended up okay, and because i didn't twist and turn and flip with each development.

i kept thinking about matthew 8. i once heard max lucado tell this story, about how the disciples were on a boat when a storm came and jesus was sleeping. the disciples woke him in a panic, but jesus was like, "you of little faith, why are you so afraid?" and the challenge was, in the midst of the storms that threaten our boat today, to find jesus and snuggle up to him. to rest.

that image has never left me, but i've never quite grasped how. how to not freak out. how to not keep calculating the numbers in my bank account. how to not crumble under the weight. but this month, within the first week, i learned how.

yes, i trust you.

yes, i trust you.

yes, i trust you.

july was like snuggling up to jesus, even while the storm continued around me, and it felt like freedom.

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good things from july.

watching the fireworks from my friend's dining room table (read: inside & air-conditioned) while eating peanut butter cups and avoiding all traffic. yes and amen.

the reverse podcast––the one with josh silverberg. and also the one with nate griffin.
after listening, i texted no less than three people with links to these two episodes because they are so good. lengthy, but worth every minute.

revisionist history, the podcast by malcom gladwell.
each episode "reinterpret[s] something from the past: an event, a person, an idea. something overlooked. something misunderstood." it's smart, but not unbiased. malcom gladwell calls it like he sees it.

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and, this, that my friend posted in an insta-story: peter may never have gotten the chance to walk on water if he hadn't asked.