just wait.

Have you been watching The Chosen? I love the way it brings words on a page to life. Whether or not a particular storyline or section of dialogue literally took place in history (it always has me going back to scripture to double check), it prompts me to think deeper about what life for Jesus and His disciples might have actually been like.

I know the stories, and I know their endings. But what did the middle parts feel like? What might their faces have looked like? What might their side conversations have sounded like? I’d never thought about these things until I saw them depicted in the show.

The most recent season, season 5, follows Jesus and His disciples during Holy Week. I’m familiar with the series of events that took place and led up to Judas’ betrayal of Jesus. But what hit me over and over was the disciples’ responses to the things Jesus said that didn’t make sense to them — things about dying, about their “last meal” together, about being anguished to the point of death.

Their questions were real. Does Jesus dying mean He isn’t the Messiah? Were they wrong? Did they waste three years of their lives following Him? Were they supposed to prevent His death? What were they supposed to do?

I get it. It can be hard to reconcile what’s in front of you with what you believe is true when they appear to be opposite, and the fear of “What if I had it wrong this whole time?” is real.

Knowing what happens next, I found myself silently cheering them on. “Just wait, you guys. Just wait until you see what happens. Just hang on.”

But honestly, I saw myself in each disciple as I watched them try to make sense of what was happening in such human ways.

I saw myself in how Matthew wanted to understand, but when Jesus asked if understanding was what he was seeking most, Matthew said no. “It’s You I seek most.”

I saw myself in how Judas kept suggesting a smart and logical strategy, and when Jesus asked him, “What if I don’t do that though?” Judas pushed back and asked, “What am I even here for then?”

I saw myself in how Simon the Zealot wanted to follow and protect Jesus when He went off to pray by Himself, but he ultimately chose not to, letting Jesus go and trusting that He must know what He was doing.

The contrast was so stark. The disciples had so many question marks, but Jesus was confident. He knew exactly what He was doing. He made bold moves, and He didn’t shy away from it or soften it to match the disciples’ level of understanding. Instead, He told them, “You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.”

I relate so much to the disciples’ lack of understanding and the way they tried to process and make sense of what was happening as it was happening, but I keep thinking about how Jesus wasn’t guessing like the disciples were. He knew exactly what He was doing, and it was so much greater than the disciples could have known — immeasurably more than they could have imagined.

The same is true for us. God isn’t who we think He is — He is so much greater. If it doesn’t make sense now, just wait.

Just wait until you see what happens.

The power of God is in you, even on a Thursday.