God doesn't send text messages.

i graduated high school in 2007 and spent two years at mcc (community college) to try to figure out what i wanted to do and save a little money in the process. which, by the way, was the best decision i could've made because college is EXPENSIVE, especially if you're going and don't even know what you're going for.

i was a general studies major, which basically meant that i was only required to take a handful of courses and the rest were electives. i took 2d design, digital photography, film, poetry, spanish. what ended up happening was that i found out a lot of things i didn't want to do. which is good in terms of progress, but i wanted the end result. i wanted to know what i did want to do.

eventually, i had to start thinking about college beyond my two years at mcc and i got panicky. i still had no answers, but i had a lot of decisions to make. which school should i go to? what should i major in? how do i even decide? it felt like i had so many options laid out in front of me, but my fear of choosing the wrong one was crippling.

up until this point, i had only casually prayed about my future. i felt like i had all the time in the world to figure it out and i wasn't too worried about it. until i was. and then i started praying serious, let's-get-down-to-business prayers, which went something like this: "okay, God. we're down to the wire now. i need to know what You want me to do. i'll do anything, You just gotta tell me what it is. and don't be subtle about it. okay?"

and then i'd rush off to class or work or whatever else i had going on, as if God would take my prayer to heart and respond in some convenient way, like sending me a text message or something. i know, it sounds ridiculous, but it's not like i waited around long enough to listen for a response. plus, i did tell Him to not be subtle about it, right?

naturally, i mistook His silence as a green light to make the decision myself. and that's how i became a creative writing major at the university of hartford. which would've been okay if creative writing was actually what i was meant to study, but it wasn't.

so here's the lesson: when you pray and ask God for direction, take some time to listen for His answer. because it's not going to come in the form of a text message. and be patient, because it might not come right away. sometimes you have to wait for it.