creative writing felt like my only option. but the thing is, it also felt like it totally made sense. i mean, i love to write. for as long as i can remember, even before i knew how to spell or form proper sentences, i have been writing in diaries and journals. i have filled countless pages with my thoughts and stories and things i would never say out loud. even as much as i hated having homework, i always enjoyed writing essays. math was my easy subject, but english was my fun subject. so it made sense that i would end up going in that direction, right?
when it came down to it, i decided that being an english major, with a creative writing emphasis, made the most sense. the next step was finding a school that had the kind of program i was looking for, and that's how i ended up at the university of hartford. it had the program i wanted, an easy application process that didn't require an essay, it was close enough to commute to, and it was also the school T graduated from.
of course, i continued to pray during this whole decision process with prayers that included different variations of me telling God was the plan was and then asking if i was right. "if this isn't what i'm meant to be doing," i'd say, "then tell me what you want me to do instead. but if you don't, then i'll take that to mean that i am right."
still, i heard nothing, so i took that to mean i was right. but, oh my gosh, i couldn't have been more wrong and i was in for quite a shock.
but here's the lesson i learned from all of this: God does not passively sit back and watch us make decisions and then say yes or no to what we think is right. He is active and He has a plan and that plan does not come from our own imagination, but from His. so how could we possibly be able to make that decision on our own?