this is you, at four.
you love rescue bots, sidewalk chalk, and stories (listening to and telling them). you do not love having your photo taken. any cute shots we get of you these days are either candid or paid for with chocolate (but even then, it's hit or miss). i think quality time is your love language because when someone (myself included) asks for a photo, you shake your head with furrowed brows as if you're offended and we've ruined the moment by trying to capture it.
sometimes you seem so old and grown up and it feels like the years are speeding by. but then there are other times when you do something or say something that reminds me of your baby self and it feels like we are somehow outside of time because you are the same you now that you were then. except you are four years more.
what i mean is, you're four now and sometimes it feels like there had to have been gaps of time between then and now because, how did we get here? how did you get so tall? how did you learn to be so funny? but, month by month, i have watched you grow. and as much as i want to be in awe at how you play the drums, grinning at our applause and moving right into the next made-up song, i recognize that face you make. it's the same one your one-year-old self made at the dinner table that night you learned that if you started clapping, we'd all start clapping. you'd clap, and we'd clap. you'd play a song, and we'd clap.
you are brave and witty and fun and creative. i love watching you with jack and listening to you pray and those moments in the middle of playing when you ask to snuggle. and after i finished listing all the things that came to mind about why i love you, you said "whoa that's a lot," but it's not even the half of it. i could go on forever trying to articulate it, but i love you because you're you and, in your own words, i'm so bonus and lucky to be your auntie. i hope you know i'll always cheer you on, whether you're practicing clapping or playing the drums or whatever else it may be.
happy birthday, luca.
i love you THE MOST.
love always, auntie sarah.